Title: Better Than Me - Chapter Eight
Rating: This part is PG, but it will transgress to NC-17
Warnings: Male/Male relationships, real person slash, some mild language, and mpreg mentions throughout the story.
Characters: Jensen Ackles, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Bobby Singer, Jason Manns, Steve Carlson, Christian Kane, Ash Harvelle, Chad Michael Murray, Michael Rossenbaum, Tom Welling, Jared Padalecki, Mary Winchester, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and honestly? A whole bunch of other CW and non CW related persons, along with some OC's thrown in.
Pairings: Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles, Sam Winchester/Jared Padalecki, more in the future.
Story Summary: Dean Winchester has always been a charmer, a real ladies -and gentlemen's, man. Yet when he meets sweet, shy, and somewhat haunted Jensen Ackles, sparks fly between the simple nanny, trying to look after his ill son, and the complicated rocker, living life on his terms and his alone.
Chapter Summary: Continuation after the previous chapter. Jensen lets Dean in on some personal, impacting information. Jared on the other hand, has a little fun with Sam.
Beta: The wonderful dreamsparkle3
banner by the talented lillianporter
The silence was more companionable and when Jensen leaned his shoulder lightly against Dean's as they stared out at nothing, both their bodies warmed just a little bit more.
“I was wondering.. And you don't have to answer, but I wanted to ask you something.”
Jensen tore his eyes off the shimmering lake and gave Dean a curious, open look, his blue eyes round and innocent. “What is it?”
Dean struggled with the question for a moment before he got the nerve to ask. “Who’s ...Who’s Max?”
He wasn’t sure how long, the silence carried out for, but it was long enough for his posture to straighten and then slouch forward again. His elbows were propped up on his knees, and his face hidden in his hands. Jensen had stared out into the water almost hoping to see the right reply to Dean’s question. His blue eyes, almost a glistening shade of black as the moonlight reflected off them.
Was it safe to tell Dean about Max? His over-protective instincts screamed against the idea, wanting to keep his baby safe from the entire world. Those same instincts didn’t even want Dean, the man for who he had shown the most emotion to in these few short weeks, ever since Max’s diagnosis, near his child.
But there was another part of him, a part that was a flicker of hope warming him inside. This part wanted to bear his soul to the older man, tell him anything and everything. The war waged in his mind and he wasn’t sure he cared who won anymore; he was just so tired of it all. Dean’s strong hand rested reassuringly on his shoulder, the warmth from it even seeping through the material of his long sleeved shirt. Jensen’s eyes flickered to Dean’s and in that moment his decision was made.
Taking a long, deep breath, he started to speak. His words were measured and soft; he didn’t trust his voice enough to keep the volume high.
“I was married before,” he tried saying but his voice sounded small even to him. His gaze flickered back to the water, his position never changing from its slump, although he did lean ever so slightly into the touch on his shoulder. The cool air was refreshing as he inhaled it deeply, eyes shutting briefly to enjoy it, his soft words continuing. “We were married for almost all of two years and well I uhh, we just started to grow apart. You know how easy it is for that to happen. Work always getting in the way of time spent together and all that...”
Dean nodded, trying to stay silent. Jensen had never opened up to him like this, not like he had with Sam, and he was soaking in all the information he could get. It was addicting, this mystery that surrounded the young man and it enthralled him. “Sucks balls,” He acknowledged, earning himself a gentle laugh from Jensen in response.
“Yeah, well, then this amazing…thing happened. You know how when you think everything’s going to fall apart and then boom! Just like that, something else happens and it lights up your world, gives you hope.” Jensen trailed off, with a fond smile on his lush lips as he remembered back to the day at the clinic when he had found out about Max, found out about his baby. “It was November third, 2006, and I had gone to the local clinic because I had been really unwell. Jason, my husband, had even noticed how sick I was in the short amount of time he had spent away from the office, and he’d demanded that I go to get myself checked out. So I did.
“It’s still kind of shocking to think about it. I mean, when I heard the news, my world was shaken up –as melodramatic as that sounds. I couldn’t fathom how I would end up in such a situation. The doctor told me that it’s a gene passed down through Scottish heritage, some sort of belief about breeding and cycles, I wasn’t really paying attention. All I pieced together was that I had the gene and-”
“And that you were a bearer,” Dean’s awed voice cut in. It was almost like déjà vu. He was taken back to that first day that he’d been introduced to Jensen Ackles, the newest addition to Impalica’s travel crew and it was a little ironic, how he had been talking to Bobby and Sam about that same type of thing that very morning. ‘Well shit. Maybe there is such a thing as karma. Or whatever those people call it.’
Jensen turned towards Dean then, a scrutinizing expression upon his face. He nodded slowly, a hesitant smile tugging the corners of his lips. “Yeah. You can probably guess the rest from there. I called Jason about the news, told him that we were expecting a baby and he was … ecstatic. It made me happy to hear the smile in his voice, things had been so stressed at work for him that he no longer had time to be happy and he was supposed to pick me up…” Jensen choked at the end unable to continue, still seeing the recollection of the past in his mind’s eye as a blank, haunted look caressed his still somewhat boyish features.
It was just like in one of those cheesy horror flicks that came on cable when all the good porno’s were over and he was still stuck with that restless feeling. His stomach did an unwanted little flip, the same as it would have done the moment the heroine of the movie moved towards the horrifying scratching at her window. Right before the hand broke the glass and pulled her through the shattered pieces, leaving evidence of torn clothing and scattered blood droplets. Dean swallowed thickly, not wanting to hear anymore. He didn't want Jensen to move any closer to that window, could almost taste the coppery tang of blood he knew would be left behind.
“I got a call later that night. It woke me up from a restless sleep and I was angry, really angry. And hurt... It wasn't the first time that Jason had blown me off; I just thought that with a child thrown into the picture he'd be a little more reliable, you know?
“It was an officer, which is funny because I was getting ready to give Jason another big lecture on responsibility and family. There'd been an accident. I guess. A kid had been driving under the influence of some pretty heavy stuff, stuff a kid should never even know about. Ran a red light and -well you can pretty much guess...
“Jason died on impact, that's what the police told me. He'd been on his way to the clinic after all. I know it probably sounds horrible of me but, if there was one way I'd want to remember my husband, if I had to choose from all the most scary of deaths, I'd choose that. Not because of the car accident but -I knew that he was on his way to see me, me and our child. He died with us in mind.” Jensen turned his black gaze from the equally dark water and Dean could see the tears that had finally began to spill over onto his cheeks. “It's been -over two years. He's still my best friend, even in -even dead; he's still my best friend.”
Dean's heart gave a painful stutter. Jensen was breaking to pieces, right there in front of him, although not in the usual way. There was no screaming, no yells or loud sobs. Jensen was in the most pain that a man could ever go through. His tears were silent and his breathing just a little on the shaky side. If Dean hadn't been there to witness every crack in that beautiful, calm facade, he would've thought it was just the moon's light reflecting off his face and not tears at all that stained his cheeks. His thumb came up and brushed a wet streak away. Jensen's eyes fluttered shut and his head tilted into the touch, a shuddering breath releasing from him.
Eyes still shut, the blue eyed man spoke in a voice far too soft with aged emotion. “Max is my son, and he's not doing too good. He's sick, real sick, and he's all that I have left of my Jason. All that I have left of the Jensen I was before all the stress, the anger and the aging.” He did sob then, and when he crumpled, Dean was there to pull him in a tight embrace, tucking the sandy brown head under his chin. Jensen burrowed into the warmth of Dean's neck, breathing in his musky scent of sweat and after shave and just pure Dean.
For a long while after that's how they stayed, locked in a tight brace breathing each other in. Living off the comfort one each gave to the other, returning it just as forcefully. Although he didn't want to, Jensen pulled back and gave a watery smile. “Thanks. I uhh,” He took a moment to clear his throat. “I haven't really talked about this to anyone but Chris in such a long time.”
Dean smoothed his palm over Jensen's forehead right back to the top, the soft hair making his fingers twitch with a ticklish sensation. “It helps to talk. Or at least that's what Sam would say.” Dean shrugged and gave a subtle grin, leaning back on one hand. Then a thought struck him and he turned his gaze back into Jensen's curious eyes. “Hey uhm.. I ain't trying to offend or anything Jen, alright? But you ever need help, with financial stuff or anything, you let me know, okay? You're part of the band now, even groupies get equal rights.” He smirked and then dodged a swat from the younger man.
Laughing, Jensen rolled his eyes, giving a small smile to Dean. “Groupie…?” He snorted. “Yeah, okay buddy. More like a wet dream.” A blush spread across his cheeks as he realized with horror what he actually said and quickly hurried on, trying to bury that in conversation. “Jason left me a lot of uhm, well he left me well off. I've got all the money I need to take care of my son. But.. but thank you. Really.”
Dean was curious, the statement making him want to know more although he brushed it aside. Jensen would tell him more when he was ready. Dean had already learned from experience that patience, although it had never been his strongest point, was always a good thing.
* || * || *
Sam's eyes glittered with content at the sight below him. He leaned his torso forward, forearms resting easily on the balcony bar that gave him enough view to over look the small docking area. In the background he could hear the music thrumming from the V.I.P. party that was still going strong. That wasn't what had caught his attention though. What had was seated at the edge of the far dock, making a small flutter of emotion in his chest.
“Nice out, eh…?”
He didn't hear the sliding glass door open so when a casual, southern twang sounded from behind him, Sam jerked around. His eyes landed on Jared's relaxed form and he sighed; the sound annoyed yet not quite unapproachable. Over the short amount of time he'd gotten to know Jared, he'd begun to slowly think of the other man more as a frustrating friend than as an enemy. “It was, yeah.”
Anyone else would've walked away with their tail tucked between their legs at Sam's dry tone, but Jared just seemed to beam a little brighter, flashing dimples and straight white teeth. That disconcerting smile of his was a heart stopper, anyone could've vouched for that and Sam was absolutely no exception. He took a step towards the youngest Winchester and then another. A few more and he was leaning a hip against the railing, head turned slightly to peer out at Dean and Jensen's cozy looking forms. He snorted. “If he knocks my little Jenny up ... Well let’s just say he best be paying for child support.” He grinned at Sam.
Sam shook his head and folded his arms across his chest defensively. “My brother would not get someone pregnant and then leave them.” He stopped and then made a face. “Not that I know of, at least. There was Lisa...” He shook his head and gave Jared a narrow eyed look. “What're you doing out here? Thought you were having a good time with that little friend of yours back in there. Did she not live up to your expectations, Mr. Big and Famous?” They were fighting words but Sam faltered a little as Jared grinned and shook his head, leaning close enough to Sam that his breath brushed his cheek.
“Hmm... She was a little too ...well she wasn't my type.” And there were those heartbreaking dimples again, staring Sam dead in the face.
“You have a type?” He tried for dry but if there was a little bit of breathlessness to the question he couldn't have helped it. Sam's heartbeat picked up and hammered an unsteady staccato as Jared leaned a little bit closer....
“Sure sure, c’mere.” Large palm cupping a firm jaw, Jared pulled Sam's face towards his own and pressed his lips to Sam's. The other man was stunned but that didn't detour Jared, didn't stop him from allowing his lips to linger, to taste and enjoy. He basked in the thrilling spikes that were tearing his stomach apart, let his eyes close gently. Sam tasted of coke and some type of horrible fruity gum and Jared could've gotten lost in it forever.
His senses were on fire and when Sam's hands came up to pull him closer by gripping Jared's shoulders in a bruising hold, a moan escaped him. His tongue trailed a wet, hot line along Sam's quivering lower lip and he bared his teeth, a quick movement swiftly moving him to bite down on the object of his attention. He grinned as he nibbled on Sam's lower lip. The other man's growls a good enough response for him. He felt a warm tongue, sliding hotly over his...
“I do have a type, Sam Winchester,” He murmured as he pulled back, his eyes still shut and his voice rough with want. He brushed Sam's parted lips with his thumb before stepping away and turning his back to the older man. “Keep that in mind, yeah?”
Sam brought his hand to his lips, eyes a little dazed as he stared after Jared's departing form.